What If.

The human story narrates a mundane tale of the ‘every day’ until a ‘what if’ comes along to provide a refreshing, and sometimes necessary interruption. What if, there was more to life than 9 to 5? What if there was meaning in the little things – like the slight chill in the air and a numbness of the winds that reminds me of how I imagined the weather in Jane Eyre’s town? What if teary eyes at the memory of that packet of Maryland cookies back in London is crucial for keeping me grounded? What if the lights shining at 2 a.m. at Times Square were so bright in order for me to preserve them in my memory? What if the guy playing his guitar at the diag, on the way back from Walgreens after midnight, in Ann Arbor was extremely loud so that I could remember the music? What if…

You Deserve Love.

A few weeks ago I was at rock bottom. Overworked, stressed out, everybody’s neighborhood counselor who doesn’t charge a penny – but worst of all – Lonely. And so I started to think. I write this word (Lonely) with a capital ‘L’ because it satisfies my sense of wanting to express the devastating intensity of this very raw and real human condition. We all feel it, yet we are afraid to express it. Why do we have so much shame? Because vulnerability is seen with the eyes of fear. You are called weak if you let your guard down. And because society never forgives you for it, you don’t forgive yourself either. And in doing that, you close the doors to love, and hold people at arm’s length – slowly but surely robbing the essence of the girl who would be awed by photos of orange trees in autumn and the snow in winter. But, like Taylor Swift beautifully says in State of Grace: This is the golden age of something good, and right, and real – to me that is letting yourself be softer, gentler towards your soul, opening the door and welcoming compassion inside. Remember: the people most worthy of being cherished enter your life not only when you least expect them to, but also when you make space in your heart for them by telling yourself that you DO deserve kindness and you DO deserve to be treated well. That is when the universe realises that you are ready to set sail.

photo credits: Tumblr

By History

This rain makes me think twice

Of green grass and first light

Those shores where my heart lies

All a dream on a cold night

 

And you were there with your black ink

Carving words into stone hills

Which would fall in the sea and sink

As the tigers move in for the kill

 

But by the time they find you

Already you’re far gone

Like the terror was your cue

And a new era is born